The Malaysian government is reportedly on the verge of finalizing a plan to construct a brand new ‘Bukit Jalil’ stadium on the Moon.
This move is finally set to put an end to all issues involving pitch conditions at the Bukit Jalil Stadium. The new stadium site is relatively closer to the sun, which increases the chances of there being a pitch that’s decent enough to host football games.
“Relevant authorities have analysed the technical aspects of this plan and it appears that we no longer need to host football games on paddy fields anymore,” a source told us.
This also means that FAM would no longer have to host games at the Hang Jebat Stadium and remain silent everytime they are questioned on the pitch condition. If this news is not revolutionary enough, we’ve got another one for you!
Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal is reportedly eyeing a move to Malaysia, as he prepares to leave the English side this summer.
The Dutchman has been under-fire for Man United’s struggles this season, especially after his well-documented spending habits over the last two transfer windows. But Van Gaal is now looking to secure a job in Malaysia, which will come as a timely and a necessary reprieve.
Our sources were unable to confirm the details of the Malaysian club, though Van Gaal’s motives have been established to a certain extent. Malaysian clubs’ tendency to ‘rest’ rather than ‘sack’ coaches seems to have played a big part in Van Gaal’s decision.
“He is incredibly fatigued right now, especially with the pressure coming from British press. But he’s looking forward to move to Malaysia, where he’ll be given opportunities to ‘rest’ every now and then,” a source told FourthOfficial.com
He is also said to be interested within the operating structure of Malaysian clubs, claiming that their poor financial management tendencies would allow him to spend heavily on players, without being accountable to it, should the investment fail.
Our source added: “It’s no secret that Van Gaal loves spending. That’s precisely why he splashed so much of money on Di Maria, without knowing where to play him. He wants to continue doing that, it’s his philosophy. Malaysia will be the best place for him to continue his legacy.
“Even if clubs can’t afford player salaries, it’s fine. It’s not Van Gaal’s fault. He can always blame it on FAM or anyone else,” the source added.
DISCLAIMER: This article is purely satirical [JOKE] and no one was specifically targeted in the process of writing it. Our sincerest apologies, if you were offended by it in any way. Either way, Happy April Fools’ Day! (Please don’t sue us!)